The things that I feel 'mom guilt' for are things that my partner wouldn't even consider.

But I realized early in motherhood that mom guilt isn't guilt.

It's shame...

and that's what makes it so hard.

I don't actually think going out to dinner with friends on a night my son is fussier than normal is something I shouldn't do.

I don't actually believe that it's wrong to want my son to play independently for a few minutes while I check a quick client message.

'Mom guilt' feels so shitty because I was making these moments mean something about who I am.

(I'm not going to get into the patriarchy's role in all of this, but just know it's on my mind)

I KNOW I'm not a bad mom if not every single bit of my attention is on my son constantly, enjoying every minute.

But shame makes it feel like maybe, just maybe, I am a bad mom.

And for mothers who also run their own businesses, shame is a roadblock.

Sometimes we try to tell ourselves that shame is a driver.

If somehow I can make myself a better person or a better mom or a better coach by doing MORE... shame will disappear.

Instead, we end up exhausted, resentful, and like maybe we should burn our businesses down because we're not good enough anyways.

That's shame talking, and it gets louder when we keep it to ourselves.

Shame tells us that being vulnerable will make others look down on us.

But if I've learned anything from reading pretty much everything Brené Brown has put out...

Vulnerability and compassion are what saves us from shame.

It's why you see hundreds of comments on reels where someone is sharing their struggles in an open, honest way (you know which ones I'm talking about).

It's why the people you respect the most are likely those who are able to hold both strength and softness at the same time.

And in my work with moms doing their best to parent and coach and run a business that supports their lives...

Shame is a conversation we bring out of the dark and into the light.

Because mentorship is NOT just about business strategy-

because we can't implement any of it if we're stuck in a shame spiral.

And we don't get OUT of a shame spiral without vulnerability and support.

In this week's Building a Coaching Business in Motherhood episode, I talk about five ways shame holds us back in our lives and businesses.

Because I PROMISE YOU...

its not 'being disorganized' or 'not working enough' that is actually holding you back from the business you want.

Shame is the roadblock.

Example A ⬇️

You look at your list of to-dos for the week, and overwhelm creeps in.

There is SO much you NEED to get done.

But then you start to think...

"What's wrong with me? Why do I get so overwhelmed by a stupid to do list? Why do I feel like I'm always drowning? That coach I follow has kids too and she posts every day and she always gets so many comments on her posts! If I wasn't so unorganized I'd be farther along in my business."

The shame spiral keeps you from getting anything done, and what you DO do doesn't feel good enough.

Read that again ⬆️

Put in your headphones, go out for a walk, and listen to this week's Building a Coaching Business in Motherhood episode.

And you'll also hear my perspective on what we can do to move past shame so we can build a business that offers the freedom and flexibility we started coaching for in the first place.

Talk soon,

Gillian Bennett

Instagram: @bitesizenutri ​

P.S. Feel like you're working as much as life allows you to at the moment, but not seeing the results you want in your business? Take my Strategy Audit​

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